Sandie and Donna wanted to talk about definitions. These two long-time friends were ready for a good discussion and they weren’t afraid to challenge my assumptions. I had come to ask them how they felt about volunteering, but their comments about the definition of volunteer proved far more valuable.

Sandie and Donna have big family obligations. They are always on-call to help with their many grandchildren—with doctor appointments, early school pick-ups and such—so their children can work. As Sandie said, “In some ways we are volunteering, although it is not the traditional definition of volunteering, because we are giving up our time when they call us.” She added, “You get up in the morning and think the whole day is going to be yours, and then the phone starts ringing.”

That is why my questions about traditional volunteering irritated Sandie just a little. “I’m doing all these things, but they don’t count.” Mentoring grandkids, counseling unemployed family members, taking care of elderly parents—all of these would be considered volunteer positions if they involved clients who were not family members, and so they should have equal value. “If you are taking care of your family,” Donna made clear, “then they won’t need outside services.” (more…)